I Knew You Were Trouble
by Lily Lindsey-Aubrey
Summary: Previously titles Tauriel's Troubles. Different Middle Earth characters and what really went through their minds during the different stories. Now includes Elrond's Troubles! Please read and review!
1. Tauriel's Troubles

**Tauriel's Troubles**

_A short one-shot about Tauriel; a different take on some of the scenes in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug_

_(the phrases in italics are what she's thinking)_

Tauriel was finishing locking up the Dwarves. Thirteen Dwarves! This was not something she saw very often. Suddenly Legolas interrupted her thoughts.

'Why does the Dwarf stare at you, Tauriel?' he asked.

_Jerk, _she thought. _Are you implying that I'm nothing to look at? _She would have said it, but Legolas being a prince, she thought in unwise. 'Who can say?' she responded, speaking lightly. She smiled. 'He's quite tall... for a Dwarf. Do you not think?' she asked innocently. _Ha, chew on that, creep!_

'Taller than some,' Legolas admitted uncomfortably. Tauriel smiled again, and began to walk away. 'But no less ugly!' he called after her. She rolled her eyes.

_Really? _she thought. _Oh, come on!_

* * *

'Legolas said you fought well today,' said Thranduil, turning away from her. 'He's growing very fond of you.' He waited for an answer.

_OMG, _thought Tauriel, _what a creep! No, did he seriously tell his dad that he has a crush on me? This is freaking unbelievable. _'I assure you, my Lord,' she said aloud, trying to disguise her perturbation, 'Legolas thinks of me as not more than a captain of the guard.' _I hope. _

'Perhaps he did once,' said Thranduil, frowning. 'Now I'm not so sure.'

_Don't freak out, don't freak out. You can handle this. Calm down, Tauriel. _'I do not think,' she said hesitantly, 'that you would allow your son to pledge himself to a lowly Silvan elf.'

'No... you are right, I would not,' said Thranduil.

_Whew, _thought Tauriel. _What a relief! Thank the Valar for stuck-up, protective elven king dads. _

'Still, he cares about you,' continued Thranduil. 'Do not give him hope where there is none.'

_Oh no. What a creep. I just hope he doesn't stalk me. Give him hope? Are you kidding? _Tauriel hurriedly left. _This is getting too serious. Initiate escape plan... wait, no, develop escape plan...__  
_

* * *

The Dwarves had escaped. This was her chance.

Tauriel began to chase after them. Orcs were everywhere, but she was a good fighter. She could give them more than they bargained for.

She was too late to stop the Dwarves; in a way, she was glad. _Now I have an excuse to follow them. Away from Legolas, _she thought.

Tauriel stood, staring at the river. Suddenly she heard a movement behind her. She swung around, bringing an arrow to her string and pointing it at the intruder.

It was Legolas. She reluctantly lowered her weapon. 'I thought you were an Orc,' she said. _I wish you were, _she thought. _Even an Orc would be more welcome than you. And why exactly were you pointing a dangerous weapon at me?_

'If I were an Orc, you would be dead,' said Legolas.

_YOU would be, you mean. _Tauriel turned away. Why was that jerk following her?

'Tauriel,' he went on, 'you cannot hunt thirty Orcs on your own.'

'But I'm not on my own,' she said. _Wish to Halls of Mandos that I was, though. When will he leave? _

'You knew I would come,' observed Legolas.

_Wait, what? OMG. No way. I am not that pessimistic. _

'The King is angry, Tauriel,' Legolas went on. 'For six-hundred years my father has protected you, favored you. You defied his orders, you betrayed his trust.'

_He gave stupid orders. Why should I obey them? _Tauriel remained silent.

'Come back with me; he will forgive you.'

_You have got to be kidding me. _'But I will not,' she said aloud. 'If I go back I will not forgive myself.' She turned away again. 'The king has never let Orc filth roam our lands. Yet he would let this Orc pack cross our borders and kill our prisoners?'

Legolas seemed uncomfortable. 'It is not our fight,' he said lamely.

'It is our fight!' said Tauriel. _When is he going to leave? I'm not a kid that he has to follow me everywhere and protect me._ 'It will not end here. With every victory this evil will grow. If your father has his way, we will do nothing. We will hide behind our walls, live our lives away from the light and let darkness descend. Are we not part of this world? Tell me, when did we let evil become stronger than us?' _That should shut him up. _

Tauriel began to walk away. Legolas followed.

_#*! **%#$?(*&amp;%$ !# $** NO WAY! _she thought.

* * *

'You killed them all,' said Bain, looking around the room at the Orc bodies.

'More will come,' said Legolas dire-fully. 'Come, Tauriel.'

_Argh! Can't you just leave me in peace? _she thought. _Quick, an excuse, any excuse. _

'We're losing him,' said one Dwarf, looking at Kili.

_Ah! _thought Tauriel, _perfect! _

Legolas ran out the door. He liked to hunt Orcs. Tauriel smiled. _:D It worked! All I need is some..._

Bofur entered with some leaves. 'Athelas!' said Tauriel.

'What are you doing?' he asked.

'I'm going to save him,' she said, getting busy. _Lucky escape! No more Legolas for a little while, at least._

* * *

Tauriel busily began to heal Kili. She bandaged his leg.

'Tauriel,' he said.

_Ooh, that's creepy. I shouldn't have told him my name. _'Lie still,' she said.

'You cannot be her,' he continued deliriously. 'She... she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream.'

_Ooookay, this is getting really disturbing. I did not know that Orcish poison did this to people... _

'Do you think she could've loved me?' he gasped.

_ #^&amp; !&amp;#^*((#$^ No! Not TWO of them!_

* * *

**There you are. What Tauriel was really thinking about Legolas the whole time! XD Hope you enjoyed it.**


	2. Tauriel's Troubles cont

**Tauriel's Troubles Cont.**

_Tauriel is still trying to escape her creepy stalkers during the Battle of Five Armies. But will she succeed? Never has she seen such dedicated stalkers before! _

_But she has a plan..._

Tauriel was so sick and tired of men. Why were they such creepy stalkers? She swore to herself that she would never get married. What if her husband turned out like the Elvenking? She had always suspected that his wife's death was not wholly due to the dragon.

She sighed and wondered where she should go next. Laketown was in ruins; Erebor was out of the question (more dwarves might start stalking her if she went there). And of course she would never return to the Woodland Realm until Legolas was safely six feet under.

_Oh no_, she thought. _Here comes that creepy dwarf dude. I knew I shouldn't have saved his life. I hope he's fully recovered from that creepy orc poison. It **was** the orc poison that made him act that way, was it not?_

"Tauriel," said Kili in a moony voice.

"Kili, come on. We're leaving," said Fili.

_Oh, good. His older brother will stop him from creepy stalking me. I think I like this older brother of his. He's kind of hot... Why is this dwarf still staring at me?_

"They are your people, you must go," she said, and turned to leave.

"Come with me," said Kili suddenly. Tauriel almost choked. "I know how I feel, I'm not afraid. You make me feel... alive."

_THAT IS SO CLICHE! What is wrong with him?_

"No, I can't," said Tauriel hurriedly. She tried to run away but Kili grabbed her hand.

"Tauriel," he said creepily, "Amralime."

_Creepier and creepier. I almost prefer Legolas to this dwarf!_

"I don't know what that means," she said snootily.

"I think you do," Kili whispered disconcertingly.

_Think fast, Tauriel. There must be a way to get out of this mess without getting a dwarven axe imbeded in your nervous system. Think, think, think..._

"My lord Legolas," she said, infinitely relieved. Even the appearance of Legolas was a good thing at a time like this.

"Take your leave of the dwarf," said Legolas. "You are needed elsewhere."

_Eww, the dwarf is staring at me. I thought no one could be creepier than Legolas. I was wrong. Well, at least there are only two of them. Next thing you know I'll have the Elvenking chasing me. That would be disturbing._

Suddenly Kili grabbed her hand and stuck a stone into it.

"Keep it, as a promise," he said nonsensically.

Tauriel shivered. Hopefully she was free of this dwarf forever. Now she had only Legolas to deal with.

* * *

Tauriel and Legolas stood watching the crowd of Lake-town inhabitants as they prepared to depart for the Lonely Mountain.

"You saw something out there?" asked Tauriel, hoping Legolas wouldn't make the conversation awkward by turning it in romantic directions.

"The orc I pursued out of Lake-town, I know who he is," said Legolas. "Bolg, the spawn of Azog the Defiler. A Wargpack was waiting for him on the outskirts of Esgorath. They fled into the north. These orcs were different from the others, they bore a mark I had not seen for a long time. The mark of Gundabad."

"Gundabad?" asked Tauriel, trembling slightly. It was a fell name.

"An orc stronghold in the far north of the Misty Mountains."

_Legolas is not so bad after all,_ she thought. _He is keeping this conversation nice and unstalky._

"My lord Legolas," said a voice behind them, and they turned to see Feren upon a white horse. "I bring word from your father," he said. "You are to return to him immediately."

"Come, Tauriel," said Legolas.

_Never_, thought Tauriel. But before she had time to speak the thought, Feren said "My lord... Tauriel is banished."

_YAY! Now Legolas will go back without me, and I will be free of creepy stalkers!_

"Banished?" said Legolas, clearly angry. "You may tell my father if there is no place for Tauriel, there is no place for me."

_Snap,_ thought Tauriel. _Think of something to make him leave..._

"Legolas, it is your king's command," she said hurriedly.

"Yes, he is my king," said Legolas poetically. "But he does not command my heart."

_What's with all the cliche lines here?_

"I ride north," Legolas continued. "Will you come with me?"

Tauriel did not have the energy to protest. Anyhow, where could she go? She had considered before, and there really was nowhere. She might as well go with him.

"To where?" she asked cautiously.

"To Gundabad," said Legolas, and jumped on his horse.

* * *

Tauriel was almost beginning to think Legolas had decided he didn't like her anymore. He hardly let a sentence slip that was sappy or related to her crystal eyes or dazzling smile. But soon she didn't have time to think of those things anymore. When they returned to Erebor, the orcs were everywhere. They were going to attack the mountain.

Tauriel was dismayed at first. Everyone would die. But then she slowly smiled. That would mean that a certain beardless dorky dwarf would die, also. She would be forever free of him. Unfortunately, their lines were holding; but if she could just get the Elvenking to leave with his army...

And she knew exactly how to manipulate him.

"You will go no further," she shouted threateningly. "You will not turn away. Not this time."

"Get out of my way," said Thranduil, coming as close to being unfabulous as he ever did.

"The dwarves will be slaughtered," said Tauriel, struggling to hide her smile.

"Yes, they will die," said Thrandiul.

_Everything is going according to plan_, Tauriel thought evilly.

"Today, tomorrow, one year hence, a hundred years from now. What does it matter? They are mortal."

I still sense his conscience pricking him. That will never do. He just needs a little more of a push...

"You think your life is worth more than theirs, while there is no love in it?" she said. "There is no love in you."

Thranduil struck her bow and arrow with his sword in an angry gesture. Her bow broke in two.

_That was not according to plan. What a jerk. At least he's not a creepy stalker jerk._

"What do you know of love?" said Thranduil. "Nothing. What you feel for that dwarf is not real."

_What I feel for that dwarf is hate, and it's as real as anything that I've ever felt._

"You think it is love?" the Elvenking continued. "Are you ready to die for it?"

Suddenly Legolas jumped out of nowhere and struck his father's sword out of his hand.

"If you harm her you will have to kill me," he said melodramatically.

_Great._

"I will go with you," he said, turning to Tauriel.

_NOT GREAT._

* * *

Tauriel really did not have much of a choice. She was rather afraid that Legolas would guess her true purpose, and then who knows what would happen?

So up they both went to Ravenhill, and Legolas soon hurried off to do some impressive stunts. Meanwhile, Tauriel saw her least favourite dwarf fighting some orcs.

_I must do something fast. He is getting the best of the fight. He'll kill all the orcs... my plan will be ruined... he'll survive. I can't let that happen!_

Tauriel ran towards where Kili was fighting.

_I'll just pretend to be helping him. And then I'll let him die. }:)_

But she had lost sight of him. Where was he?

"Kili!" she called. "Kili!"

"Tauriel!" roared the dwarf from where he was fighting. But Bolg had heard Tauriel's shout, and rushed towards her to slay her.

A troublesome battle ensued wherein Kili kept saving Tauriel from the orc. She was almost angry at him for it. Why did he have to be so sickeningly sentimental? But it was working, Bolg had the best of Kili. He would die, as was her plan.

With a roar of triumph, Bolg stabbed Kili through the heart.

"No, no," said Tauriel half-heartedly, in case anyone was watching and guessed her true purpose. She watched Kili die, scarcely concealing the look of pleasure on her face. But Bolg was going to kill her if she wasn't careful, so she attacked him. They both went plunging over the ledge.

It was good that Tauriel kept pretending to like Kili until the end, for Legolas had seen it all. And would he let his favourite elleth die at the hands of Bolg? Never!

Legolas ran to Tauriel's aid and battled with Bolg. Finally the orc was defeated and fell to his inevitable death. Legolas went to stalk Tauriel again.

"Tauriel!" he called desperately.

Tauriel heard him coming. It would never do to let Legolas find out that it was all a trick. She would have to practice her acting skills. Plus, if he thought she was still in love with Kili, maybe he wouldn't stalk her anymore!

Tauriel grabbed Kili's dead body and began to weep dramatically. Legolas looked uncomfortable and turned to leave.

Then Thranduil showed up. It was rather awkward. She wished everyone would just leave so that she could kick the dwarf over the cliff and never see his beardless face again. Then she had an idea. If she made Thranduil grumpy enough by pretending to really like Kili, maybe Thranduil would kick the dwarf off the ledge himself.

"I want to bury him," she declared, sobbing.

"Yes," said Thranduil.

_That was not supposed to happen! He's supposed to disagree with me! Try a different approach._

"If this is love, I do not want it. Take it from me, please! Why does it hurt so much?"

"Because it was real," said Thranduil sentimentally.

_NOOOOOOOOO don't say that!_

"But yeah, I'll take your love," Thranduil added. "It's all I've ever wanted. Will you marry me?"

Tauriel's scream was said to have echoed from the Misty Mountains to the Grey Havens. She must have died of shock, for she was never seen or heard of again.

* * *

**So there you have it. Maybe Tauriel was different than we thought. Out of curiosity, do you like the canon version or this version of Tauriel better? **

**I am going to continue this story, but the section about Tauriel is over. I will be doing other's troubles now; some of the ones I've started planning are _Thranduil's Troubles _and _Elrond's Troubles. _If you're interested in any of the other characters' true feelings and motives, just leave a review and let me know. I think I'll be changing the title of the story, too, since it won't be just Tauriel anymore; so if you see a strange story in your notifications, don't be surprised. **

**Thanks for reading! For those of you who read the first part way back when I published it, special thank you for still being interested in it this much later! :) **


	3. Elrond's Troubles

**Elrond's Troubles**

_Quick note from the author: I'm changing the title of this story to "I Knew You Were Trouble" because it's not simply about Tauriel anymore. For those of you just now reading the story, it was previously titled "Tauriel's Troubles" since I hadn't planned on writing any more than the first chapter. :)_

Elrond was sitting peacefully in his study when his thoughts were interrupted by Arwen. They were interrupted frequently by his mother-in-law as it was; that was bad enough. But now his own daughter, too? Would this never end?

"Whatever grace is given me, let it pass to him. Let him be spared. Save him," said his daughter's voice in his mind, sounding echo-y and distant. Elrond cursed. Why did she always have to bother him like this? He was so sure he was free of her, having sent her on a suicide mission to find the ranger Aragorn. But that, like everything else he tried to do, had failed.

He had to find some way to get rid of Arwen once and for all!

* * *

The council of the Ring had just been concluded, and the Fellowship of the Ring stood before Elrond, looking proud, timid, awkward, or hungry, depending on which member you looked at. Elrond nodded. Then he had a brilliant plan!

_If I can get Arwen to join the Fellowship, I need never see her again! That would be the best thing to ever happen! _

He waited eagerly for Arwen to insist on going with her boyfriend, but to his annoyance she just stood there.

_Foiled again!_

* * *

Elrond had to make a new plan. There had to be a way. Then his eyes brightened. All he needed to do was get Arwen off to the Grey Havens. Then he'd never have to see her again!

_But how can I make her go with her hanging on that Ranger's arm all the time? He is a mortal, so I can't send him with her… and she won't go without him… _

But Elrond had a plan.

"Our time here is ending," he said to Aragorn as the Ranger prepared to leave with the Fellowship. "Arwen's time is ending. Let her go. Let her take the ship into the west. Let her bear away her love for you to the undying lands. There it will be evergreen."

"But never more than a memory," said Aragorn angstily.

_Snap! Why does he have to be so **** sentimental? Just dump her already! _

"I will not leave my daughter here to die," said Elrond. It was essentially the truth. He would send her away and then he could live here peacefully to the end of his days.

"She stays because she still has hope," said Aragorn.

"She stays for you!" said Elrond. "She belongs with her people!" _And as far away from me as she can get! _

And it had almost worked. _Almost. _Aragorn had tried to dump Arwen, but had been rather unsuccessful. And Arwen, being the most sappy elf in Arda, refused still to leave.

_Curse us and splash us! What to do?_

* * *

"Arwen," said Elrond, approaching his daughter, who was lazily lounging about, as usual. "Arwen, it is time. The ships are leaving for Valinor. Go now, before it is too late." _Too late for me to ever be free of you. _

"I have made my choice," said Arwen sappily. Elrond felt sick.

"He is not coming back," he insisted. "Why do you linger here when there is no hope?"

"There is still hope," Arwen said sassily. If she had been a few years younger, Elrond would have taken her over his knee and paddled her for back-talking.

_I must be diplomatic. I can't __**make **__her go, much as I would like to; so I must cleverly convince her. _

"If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted," he said carefully. "If Sauron is defeated, and Aragorn is made king" _-heaven forbid!- _"and all that you hope for comes true, you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die."

Saying that sentence gave him an oddly happy feeling.

Arwen was crying. Elrond hoped it was a good sign. He gained courage.

"And there will be no comfort for you," he said, trying not to sound gloating. "No comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death, an image of the splendor of the kings of men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt. As nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell, bound to your grief, under the fading trees, until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent."

_This makes me think of Celebrian… I miss Celebrian… so much… _

Elrond was getting sniffly, but at least so was Arwen. He could only hope that she was beginning to weaken.

"There is nothing for you here, only death," he said. He hoped it didn't sound like a threat.

But still Arwen sat motionless. Elrond had but one more card to play, and he hated to play it because it sounded so sappy.

"Do I not also have your love?" he asked with a grimace.

_Successssss! It worked! Why is she hugging me? Yuck. Man I really wish I had never had a daughter… _

"You have my love, father!" she sobbed uncontrollably. Elrond smiled. Everything would go according to plan.

* * *

"Take her by the safest road," said Elrond to Arwen's guards. _It's also the fastest, thank goodness. _"A ship lies anchored in the Grey Havens. It waits to carry her across the sea. The last journey of Arwen Undomiel." _Thank the Valar!_

* * *

**There ya go. Hope you enjoyed! Part 2 will be along soon, and you'll get to see what poor Elrond's fate is. I am not trying to bash anyone in this story except Arwen. Elrond is the good guy. If you like Arwen, sorry. No offense. I just don't. :) Thanks for reading! **


	4. Elrond's Troubles cont

**Elrond's Troubles Cont.**

_And the last chapter of Elrond's sad story of troubles. Enjoy! _

Elrond was relaxing on the veranda and writing a letter to his good frenemy Thranduil. He didn't like the Elvenking much- partly because of his pretentious self-kingship, and partly because of his tasteless blonde hair- but he needed some more Dorwinion wine, and had to be diplomatic about these sorts of things. He was just completing a sigh of contentment when his world was shattered by the unannounced entrance of his daughter, Arwen.

"What did you see?" she shrieked.

"Arwen?" he said in horror, ducking behind his ink pot.

"You have the gift of foresight," said Arwen. "Tell me what you saw.

_Snap! I was really hoping she wouldn't think of that!_

"I looked into your future and I saw death," Elrond said nervously.

"But there was also life," said Arwen.

_Well why don't you just go predict your own stupid future then, know-it-all!_

"You saw there was a child… you saw my son!" screamed Arwen.

"That future is almost gone," Elrond stuttered.

"But it is not lost," said Arwen.

"Nothing is certain!"

"Some things are certain," she said, back-talking as usual. "If I leave him now I will always regret it. It is time."

Elrond resisted face-palming with commendable effort.

_What can I do now? There has to be a way to get rid of her!_

"Reforge the sword," she said suddenly.

_Distract her._

"Your hands are cold," he said lamely. Then he thought of an explanation. "The life of the Eldar is leaving you."

"This was my choice," said Arwen aggravatingly. "Whether you will it or not, there is no ship now that can bear me hence."

Elrond struggled to keep the despair from his eyes, and failed.

_Snaaaap!_ he shouted internally.

* * *

Elrond is always the Elf with a plan. So he simply made another one. If he couldn't get Arwen to go to Valinor forever, at least he might be able to get her to stay in Gondor all the time. And the only way to do that would be to get Aragorn crowned king.

And the only way to do _that_… Well… Elrond would have to reforge Elendil's blade. The Blade that was Broken.

"I come on behalf of one whom I love," said Elrond, wincing at the magnitude of the lie. He was standing in Aragorn's tent, where the Ranger was encamped with Theoden's army.

"Arwen is dying," said Elrond.

"She stayed?" asked Aragorn.

"She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor," said Elrond. This was a lie, too; he just needed Aragorn to hurry up and marry Arwen, which he wouldn't do until he'd defeated Sauron. "The Shadow is upon us, Aragorn; the end has come."

"It will not be our end, but his," said Aragorn. Elrond smiled. That seemed to be a good sign.

"You ride to war, but not to victory," he said, hoping this would make Aragorn want to prove him wrong. "Sauron's armies march on Minas Tirith- this you know. But in secret he sends another force that will attack from the river… A fleet of Corsair ships sail from the south. You are outnumbered, Aragorn; you need more men."

"There are none," said Aragorn desperately.

Elrond sighed.

_I have no choice. It may kill him, thus dashing my every hope of getting rid of Arwen, but it is the only way._

"There are those who dwell in the mountain," said Elrond quietly.

Aragorn was unable to form a response for a moment, due to the look of surprise on his face. "Murderers, traitors- you would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one."

"They will answer to the King of Gondor," said Elrond. He pulled out the reforged sword with dramatic flair. "Anduril, flame of the west. Forged from the shards of Narsil."

"Sauron will not have forgotten the sword of Elendil," said Aragorn happily.

_Ah yes. I think this will work._

"The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth," said Elrond, beginning to get excited. "Put aside the Ranger; become who you were meant to be!"

* * *

Elrond stood in Minas Tirith, watching Aragorn being crowned king. It wasn't how he had planned it; it wasn't how he wanted it. If he had had his wish, Arwen would be far away in Valinor by now. But it was better than it could have been. Sauron was defeated, and most importantly, Arwen would be spending most of her time in Gondor now.

Elrond blinked back happy tears and went home, feeling relieved and content. Hopefully Arwen would never bother him again!

"Elrond, stop reading and do something useful," said Galadriel telepathically.

_Oh snap!_ thought Elrond.

* * *

**There you go. Who do you want me to do next? I have a temptation to do Feren... although he says almost nothing during the two films. But I have plans still... Maybe Thranduil? Let me know in a review! **


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